At the Mercy of the Wind (Prayer Request)

If you live in So Cal or have access to the news you know about the rampant fires. SOOO many people have lost their homes, etc. Even if they have not had to evacuate the air quality is really horrible and many of my friends/family have said there are just ashes covering their yards. Please be praying for those that have been affected! (This first picture was taken by my brother, Brian (or SIL, Kara), from their front yard in Simi Valley. Simi is where my parents, brother Kevin & many other extended family members live)!

The fires got INCREDIBLY close to my alma mater, Pepperdine. Thankfully, from an email I received,

"the [faculty] pool house next to the hot tub that we all use to sneak into was burned down and aside from some Palm Trees on Banosky Drive being burnt, that seemed to be the extent of the damage on campus."

(These three pictures are of faculty condos & the very top of Pepperdine's campus).

After seeing these pictures it is amazing to me that the campus suffered so little damage.

The church that I attended in college was right across the highway from Pepperdine. Unfortunately, the church building did not survive this fire, and can greatly use our prayers. Here is an exerpt from an email I got in this regards:

"We at Malibu Pres can use your prayers! During this whole process the Lord has put our church at the forefront of the world - what a great opportunity to minister! While this is a time of mourning, our pastor, Greg Hughes said it best on CNN, 'today we lost a building, thank God we did not lose our church'. Roots run deep as many worshiped and ministered there during college. Some of us were married and had our kids baptized there. During the week, there are over 90 children that go to preschool there (including my kids), so there is a lot that has been affected, from Sunday worship to activities and programs from Monday - Saturday. With all that - it is a big loss, logistically and with memories. However, that the building stood for 60 years and served its purpose and did its job well. The outpouring of other churches and organizations in Malibu to offer us use of their facilities has been amazing. While it is still time to mourn, we look forward to help build an even better building to serve the Lord for the next 60 years."

Here's some CNN video footage of an interview with the minister of MPC (it starts out with a short commercial, sorry about that).

Anyone who knows me knows that So Cal has a special place in my heart. It is still very much home & it is very hard to watch from afar what is going on there. Please pray for this region of our country!!!

Happy Birthday Caelleb

Dear Caelleb,
Let me start by saying, six? Really? Wow. Words simply cannot convey how much JOY you bring to our family (and this world, for that matter). I cannot image a sweeter child. Your smile can light up any room and your passion and enthusiasm for life are contagious. I am so proud of the BIG boy you are becoming.

6 Yr. Milestones
You played on your first t-ball team.
You graduated from preschool.
You were in your first wedding (ringbearer for Aunt CiCi).
You learned how to boogey board & intertube.
You learned how to write your name (legibly, for the most part) & recognize most letters in the alphabet.
You learned to count to 10 (with some help).
You started KINDERGARTEN!!!

Your God Given Gifts (these are gifts I already see developing in your life. I'm sure as you grow & mature there will be MANY more)
Blue-eyed power (J/K--couldn't resist) :)
Genuine desire to help anyone and everyone with whatever is needed (Help).
Compassion for people (Mercy).
Ability to make & keep friends (Encouragement/Hospitality).
Exceptional brother to Tia, Jamie & Vanessa (Encouragement/Hospitality/Help).
*I'm sure I have missed some, and I will continue to add to this list as I think of more!

Mostly, Caelleb, I just want you to know how much I love you. I cannot imagine our family without you & I am SOOO thankful to God for blessing us with the opportunity to parent such an incredible little (eh-hmm), BIG boy!

Happy 6th Birthday!

Love Always,
Mommy

Lessons from Bible Class

As I do every Sunday when we pick the kids up from their Bible class, I ask them what they learned. Usually the conversation goes nowhere. Either I can tell Caelleb has something to say but he can't articulate or they just don't remember. But yesterday, we were sitting around the lunch table when I asked the question ("So, what did you guys learn about God in class today?"). Caelleb surprised me with the following response:

"Der was dis guy. He no walk. He just lay down. His friends took him to da ceilin'. Dey cut a hole in da ceilin'. Dey put him in da hole. Jesus say get up, walk. Da guy got up. He walk out with his friends."

That was the first time Caelleb has every been able to remember & articulate back to me a Bible story. It was PRECIOUS!

Since I'm on the subject of Bible class, I have to tell a funny Tia story. Let me back up and say that Tia LOVES to stay in hotels. Ever since our trip to TX over the summer Tia just LOVES being in hotels. So much so that when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday (she turns 3 on the 18th) she said, "I go to hotel." :) Anyway, back to the Bible class story. A few weeks ago when I picked Tia up from her class I didn't even have to ask her what she learned. She handed me one of her papers and told me very matter-of-factly that "God made the whole world." This was written out on her paper, clearly their lesson theme. Then she hands me her second paper. It is a piece of blue construction paper. I notice some animals, trees, houses, etc. all foamy shapes taped to her paper like a collage. She says again, "God made the whole world." Then she points to the collage and says, "there are hotels in there." :)

I absolutely love to hear my kids processing the stories of the Bible.

July 26 -- Day #6, Zuma Beach

On Day #6 of our vacation Mema & Pappy made the trip down from Sacramento to hang out with us for a couple days. They had JUST gotten back from a mission trip to Africa so we REALLY appreciated them making that special effort to get down to So Cal. Plus we got to see pictures and hear stories from their amazing trip! It was so great to see them.

Also, one of my oldest & best friends, Kathy (who I grew up with in Simi, known her since i was about 6, played little league softball together for YEARS, both went to Simi High and played softball and soccer together, as well as travel ball--we are more like sisters than friends, anyway, she currently lives in Idaho) was also visiting So Cal while we were in town!

We all headed to Zuma Beach! :) It was a BEAUTIFUL DAY at the beach, sunny, but not too hot. Only problem was, we ALL used the same sunblock & it DIDN'T WORK! Seriously, we were all burnt to a crisp. Not good. Thank goodness for Aloe Vera gel, seriously! But we didn't realize how burnt we had gotten until we got home, of course. The actual time spent at the beach was wonderful. Here are some pics. . .

Mema, Tia, Caelleb & Vanessa

Vanessa, Kathy & Caelleb

Kathy & Tia

Building sand castles

My water boy!

This was Vanessa's first trip to the ocean. She was a little scared of the water but still enjoyed the sun & sand!
Tia's not a big fan of the ocean, either, but she had a lot of fun playing in the sand and making everybody laugh.

If I haven't said this before, I LOVE the beach. Besides family & friends it is what I miss most about not living in So Cal, hands down!!!!

Thoughtfulness

Caelleb and Vanessa got to go on a school field trip on Friday to the pumpkin patch. I don't have any pictures but they assured me they had FUN! Here is what Caelleb told Bryndyn about his trip to the pumpkin patch:

"When I at the punkin patch. I pick up punkin for Tia. But teacher say, put that punkin down! You already got punkin. So, I couldn't get Tia a punkin."

It's the thought that counts, Caelleb. And I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness! We will make sure we get Tia a PUNKIN! :)

Trusting Enough to Hold On

I don't know if this analogy will make sense to anyone but me. But since this is my blog, does it really matter? :)

I had one of those "ah-ha" moments tonight as the kids were outside riding their bikes. Caelleb LOVES riding his bike, but his training wheels were falling apart so Bryndyn took them off a week or so ago. Caelleb hasn't quite mastered riding his bike without them but he's working on it. Bryndyn will hold the back of his seat and run along side of him as Caelleb is pedaling and then when Bryn thinks Caelleb has got it, he'll let go, but continue running next to him. At the point where Caelleb starts to wobble, Bryndyn grabs the bike again, to steady him, so he won't fall. Usually Caelleb will jump off his bike anyway, at the first slight wobble. Sometimes he lands on his feet, sometimes not; but no major tumbles. He had his first substantial bike wipe out tonight, and guess what? It HURT. He immediately started crying and proceeded to run into the house and said he was done riding his bike. I followed him inside and tried to give him the "you've gotta get back on the horse" pep talk. While it took some convincing, eventually I got him back outside. Bryndyn had gotten his own bike out and was riding with Vanessa so I decided to try and help Caelleb. I would run beside him with one hand on the handle bar and one hand on the back of his seat while he pedaled. But anytime there was the slightest bit of wobble Caelleb would let go of the handle bars, bale off the bike and get frustrated. Finally, I realized that he thought by jumping off his bike he could avoid getting hurt when his bike crashed. But in actuality, he was getting more hurt in his attempts to avoid the bike crash. So, I said to him, "Caelleb, you have got to trust me. I am not going to let you fall. Even though it feels like the bike is tipping over, it's not. I've got it. I'm not going to let you fall, but you have to trust me enough to hold on." I went a little slower and he gained some confidence. I didn't let go of the bike again. I wanted him to end on a happy & confident note. I don't know if he has completely conquered his fear but it was a step in the right direction.

I can relate to Caelleb's fears. Not about riding a bike, but when it comes to trying to take some measure of control over my life. How many times has my life gotten so "wobbly" that, out of fear and an attempt to avoid pain, I take matters into my own hands and try to control the situation, only to make matters worse?

And I can't help but wonder how many times God has tried telling me the exact same thing I told Caelleb tonight, "Taina, you have got to trust me. I am not going to let you fall. Even though it feels like the 'bike' (or life) is tipping over, it's not. I've got it. I'm not going to let you fall, but you have to trust me enough to hold on."

Will I ever learn my lesson?

July 25 -- Day #5, Recovery

After our fifteen hours at Disneyland we spent day #5 of our vacation recovering. We slept in. The kids swam. I met a college girlfriend for dinner in Santa Monica, which was wonderful!

Definition of Us

I wrote the following post almost a year ago. Hard to believe it has been that long. At the time we had just been to a fertility seminar and had decided to seek professional help for this issue. We were excited & hopeful & trusting God. . .

Definition of Us (written 11.8.06)

"So, last night I was online just wasting time, really, not sure why I wasn’t just SLEEPING. I had stumbled across a “parenting” blog link and that got me wondering if maybe there is a blog out there somewhere to discuss/read about infertility issues. . . I started searching. . . Even though we’ve been “trying” off and on for a very long time (I learned today that the weblog way to say this is TTC “trying to conceive”), we’ve never really done much research on infertility (IF) so this is all new to me. Anyway, the first blog that I stumbled across (I won’t give the link) was very depressing. I mean, I can totally empathize w/this person. The journey sounds horrible. This particular blog writer has been blogging since June 2006—in the beginning she would write about various topics with the issue of IF popping up every now and then. But as I got to the more current entries the entire blog was focused on IF and all the pain, grief and drama that comes along with it. Please don’t get me wrong. I am certainly not judging. I KNOW the pain and it runs deep. Not to mention, this particular blogger has been dealing with this issue much longer than I. But it got me thinking. . .

As we begin this “needing professional help/science” phase of our TTC journey. . . this issue of infertility will NOT define us! However long it takes, or even if it never takes—we will not be defined by this issue. Just as we do not want to be defined by any of the tough issues we've faced, or by our skin color, weight, where we go to church, the size of our house, the kind of car we drive (please don't judge me for the fact that I LOVE my mini van), our fashion sense (or lack thereof), education, or even how “trendy” this blog is, :) etc. . . The only thing we truly want to be defined by is our relationship with God. He is the ultimate giver of life and even though our hearts ache to conceive a child—God is faithful. He is with Bryndyn and I on this journey and He will sustain us. However it turns out we will continue praising Him!

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:7-14)

In the coming months/years/however long it takes. . . please pray for Bryndyn and I that God (and God alone) will be what defines us!"

Now, as I read this, I almost feel like a different person. When I wrote this, Tia was still living with us. Jamie hadn't even been born (he was born 2 days later). Feels like a lifetime ago. I now know FIRST-HAND the pain of failed infertility treatments. Doubts have crept in. I've struggled to continue trusting God, even wondered if I ever TRULY trusted Him to begin with. But I still hold firmly to the belief that my relationship with God is what needs to define me/us. I don't think I've done a very good job of that, as of late. It's been such a hard year--I think it is safe to say, the hardest of my life. But God has been using this season to teach me some things and to draw me closer to Him (more on this topic in a post to come). He is faithful. He is what sustains. So, to quote a line from one of my favorite worship songs, "though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name"

July 24 -- Day #4, The Happiest Place On Earth

ok, so I never got most of our vacation pictures up here. . . So, rewind with me for a little bit, to our summer vacation. . .





We decided to go to Disneyland early in our vacation to "get it out of the way." As a young child I LOVED Disneyland. But the older I got the more I loved the roller coasters at Magic Mountain and the less enamored I was with Disneyland. But, then kids came along. Now I LOVE the magic kingdom again because it is so fun to see it through the eyes of my children. They LOVED it, all three of them. We had a great (albeit LONG) day.



We started our morning on the rockets. . . (pictured: Mama T & Caelleb in the forefront, Bryndyn and Vanessa in the background)
Then, I HIGHLY recommend this next part, we went to breakfast with Minnie Mouse and friends. I had never heard of this before, but had found out through a friend that you can have breakfast with the characters. It was such a perfect way to start the day. The food was amazing (waffles, omelettes, basically every breakfast food you can imagine). The best part was that the characters came around to your table and interacted with the kids, posed for pictures, signed autographs etc. So, it kind of felt like we got that out of the way and could just focus on going on rides and enjoying ourselves rather than worrying about what characters we may or may not run into. We saw people waiting in LONG lines to take one hurried picture with different characters. Even though the breakfast was on the pricey side, it was definitely WELL worth it!

Caelleb and Vanessa loved giving all the characters hugs & high fives. Tia was perfectly content to wave at them from her spot at the table. She did NOT want them to get too close. But by the end of breakfast we were able to get a couple photos of her too.Ummmmm, doesn't this picture say it all. . .
After breakfast we were off. . . we hit just about every ride imagineable. We even took Caelleb and Vanessa on space mountain (they both loved it, especially Vanessa). Tia was tall enough to go on the Matterhorn--she went, but wasn't a big fan. We went on Buzz lightyear, Casey's train, pirates of the carribean, the haunted house, dumbo, small world, the cars, splash mountain (twice), just to mention a few. . .

the kids being monkeys on Casey Jr's train ridewe didn't actually ride on the teapots, just took the picture--but that would have been funny! :)

Tia LOVED small world--pretty sure that was her favorite.the kids had fun at toon town as well. . .

Mama & Papa T with the grandkids. . .
Waiting patiently for the parade (which was awesome, I might add)

By FAR, splash mt. was Caelleb's favorite ride. Vanessa liked it as well, but I think her favorite may have been space mt.

This is a picture I took of the picture they took of us coming down the big hill on splash mt., thats why its not too good of quality. This was our first time on the ride. We purchased the picture that disneyland took of our second time on the ride. It is hilarious. I will try to get that scanned in on here at a later time.
If you can believe it, we did not leave the park until it CLOSED, which in the summer months is MIDNIGHT. Yes, MIDNIGHT. We did not intend to stay that long. We were heading out of the park around 10:30pm (which even that was much later than we had anticipated staying) when we walked past the new finding nemo ride. We had been trying all day to get on that (mostly because it was new and I wanted to see how they'd changed it from the old submarine ride). Anyway, the wait was 2.5 hours all day long. Ummm no. But at 10:30pm we were told the wait was 20 minutes. Ummmmm, we were lied to. It was more like 75 minutes. Caelleb and Vanessa both hit a major wall while we were in line. They were exhausted. It was one of those things we kept thinking we were almost there only to discover a whole other section of line in front of us but we had gotten so far we just figured we'd stick it out. It wasn't worth it. The ride was pretty disappointing. But it did not damper the day. While Caelleb and Vanessa were like walking zombies at this point (as was I), Tia got her second wind (she had taken a nap during the day in her stroller). She was hilarious. The finding nemo ride is right next to the stage with shows/live music in tomorrow land. There was music playing and Tia was DANCING. She was past delirious. It was hilarious. All in all, it was a GREAT day. The kids were well behaved TROOPERS. A good time had by all.