Trusting Enough to Hold On

I don't know if this analogy will make sense to anyone but me. But since this is my blog, does it really matter? :)

I had one of those "ah-ha" moments tonight as the kids were outside riding their bikes. Caelleb LOVES riding his bike, but his training wheels were falling apart so Bryndyn took them off a week or so ago. Caelleb hasn't quite mastered riding his bike without them but he's working on it. Bryndyn will hold the back of his seat and run along side of him as Caelleb is pedaling and then when Bryn thinks Caelleb has got it, he'll let go, but continue running next to him. At the point where Caelleb starts to wobble, Bryndyn grabs the bike again, to steady him, so he won't fall. Usually Caelleb will jump off his bike anyway, at the first slight wobble. Sometimes he lands on his feet, sometimes not; but no major tumbles. He had his first substantial bike wipe out tonight, and guess what? It HURT. He immediately started crying and proceeded to run into the house and said he was done riding his bike. I followed him inside and tried to give him the "you've gotta get back on the horse" pep talk. While it took some convincing, eventually I got him back outside. Bryndyn had gotten his own bike out and was riding with Vanessa so I decided to try and help Caelleb. I would run beside him with one hand on the handle bar and one hand on the back of his seat while he pedaled. But anytime there was the slightest bit of wobble Caelleb would let go of the handle bars, bale off the bike and get frustrated. Finally, I realized that he thought by jumping off his bike he could avoid getting hurt when his bike crashed. But in actuality, he was getting more hurt in his attempts to avoid the bike crash. So, I said to him, "Caelleb, you have got to trust me. I am not going to let you fall. Even though it feels like the bike is tipping over, it's not. I've got it. I'm not going to let you fall, but you have to trust me enough to hold on." I went a little slower and he gained some confidence. I didn't let go of the bike again. I wanted him to end on a happy & confident note. I don't know if he has completely conquered his fear but it was a step in the right direction.

I can relate to Caelleb's fears. Not about riding a bike, but when it comes to trying to take some measure of control over my life. How many times has my life gotten so "wobbly" that, out of fear and an attempt to avoid pain, I take matters into my own hands and try to control the situation, only to make matters worse?

And I can't help but wonder how many times God has tried telling me the exact same thing I told Caelleb tonight, "Taina, you have got to trust me. I am not going to let you fall. Even though it feels like the 'bike' (or life) is tipping over, it's not. I've got it. I'm not going to let you fall, but you have to trust me enough to hold on."

Will I ever learn my lesson?